Seeing

November 19, 2021 § Leave a comment

I spoke my truth in this lifetime

Despite it not being in my best interests.

The first rains bring me back.

I am in London, looking up into the grey skylight.

There has been no sunlight for nine days.

We are surviving.

Every hour is agony.

Being alive is to be consumed with pain.

The chronic pain takes away my natural tolerance for stories.

Half truths.

I thought it was you, you were the problem.

In fact, it was my mother

Who brought me into this drama

Who let it play out

Like this.

Gently dangerous.

Did you know that every egg inside your ovaries was generated

When you were still inside her?

That kind of expectant stillness.

Four months, they say.

Sixteen weeks.

She was already in the business of grandchildren.

Now it’s your problem.

You get to decide

Whether you are in, or out.

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