February 20, 2021 § Leave a comment
There are two dominant sensations that characterize my life.
One is that I am a little ball of pain, unfurled, curled up, with arms and legs.
The other is that I am a thief in my own body; a lost soul occupying the physical life of another person.
I believe two events have made their mark, and brought me to two such extreme experiences.
Whomever thought of a child with arthritis, with such unfounded pain? Whoever indeed could believe in an interventionist G-d, when brought into the world in such a condition?
From pain to painkillers. From emotional agony to deep-seated, swallowed silence. If you stay quiet long enough, you might get out. Keep your head down, and your lips from moving. Survival is the only objective programmed into the human consciousness. Deep down you know this, but try to live beyond.
When you begin to read, you learn that all swallowed traumas result in physical illness down the generations. Trauma should be taken out, and shaken out, and spat upon, not nurtured within.
Is it too late, you ask yourself, or is the memory stamped upon a thousand generations?
Remember no one wins.