For Yehuda
October 30, 2020 § Leave a comment
Love is elusive.
On first arrival, it is elation.
On second, fear.
On third, desire, and hope.
Haha, says love, now you are hooked, for hope is the opium of the human heart.
A Meditation
October 30, 2020 § 1 Comment
If I am to pray, if I must pray
To an all-understanding and interventionist creator.
I demand my birthright of wisdom, honesty, and clarity;
I pray for my cognitive health and intellectual development.
I pray for my body and mind to cooperate in their beautiful capacity,
And my soul, should I have one, to be shielded from the daily back-and-forths of Jerusalem.
That my mind and body should not be weakened by the land,
That they should pursue absolute truth in their journeying,
That clarity should follow and free me, from any untrue thing-
For this I pray.
The Name II
October 29, 2020 § 1 Comment
You remind me of your presence in the most torturous ways;
A curled leaf, loving sex, a beautiful breastfeeding mother.
How could I ever have doubted the single source
Of such a work of love and art?
I am reminded, and silenced.
The Name
October 27, 2020 § 2 Comments
For the first time, ever,
I forced my lips to be silent
Upon meeting their daily bread.
No bracha departed from their
Opening.
Instead, I forced myself to think about the creative impulse
And whether it was evidence enough
That you are-
That you exist.
But surely the survival of an orphan
In a distant land
With a single suitcase-
Surely that, is enough to suffice my demand for hard facts.
Perhaps my yearnings,
My quest for pure truth,
Means the wind is changing.
We need you right here, sitting quietly beside us,
Proof that we have not suffered centuries in vain.
We need you here, or we need you not to exist.
After the Rain
October 25, 2020 § 3 Comments
A new feeling
Of being completely finished
With old habits that died hard.
I dragged my soul to the underbelly of the world for you, G-d.
Now we must separate, perhaps
For good.
Of Troy
October 25, 2020 § 5 Comments
This feeling of unease clouds my thoughts.
Was it the mob outside my window,
Or grief, etched into the underground of my memory, forever rearing its head?
October 24, 2020 § Leave a comment
Tragedy is what we make out of trauma
Long after the purple becomes yellow.
If only there were a less fear-based system of self-protection.
Pulse
October 24, 2020 § Leave a comment
I pray the rain will drive you home,
Wild deer,
Racing through our land
As though a hunter had ripped your heart out,
And were still
After you.
Noach III
October 24, 2020 § Leave a comment
There are two dark shadows under your eyes;
Carrying the weight of the Jewish people;
Carrying my baggage and yours.
We may have argued about whose hands
Were better qualified to hold the reins
Of my little life.
I see now
Intuition as always
Stood between me and destruction.
What a struggle
To not become a tragic person
In the midst of tragedy-
Tragedies.
Noach II
October 24, 2020 § Leave a comment
Here we are
On the edge of the world
On the edge of humanity;
Slightly above and slightly below-
Trying to accommodate the contradictions
Rooted in the yiddishe neshume.
Naturally, it is an unsustainable project.
One can only go so far before
Cognitive stability begins to break down colourfully,
And a kaleidescope of adventures happens upon us.
And naturally, we are not responsible for any of this.
We just built the fire and opened the matchbox.
The world burns and we watch, confused.