Sad Shavuot

May 28, 2020 § Leave a comment

I am broken now.

I will wake a different person.

Older, greyer-

A woman.

You are the survivor of more than one life

May 27, 2020 § Leave a comment

You slept with an eye open

And hands fisted,

On your brown belly.

When I think of you now I feel anger and fear-

There is no more pain or sadness

Which comes when hope blocks all reason.

I sleep under your balcony, not five metres

From the bed in which you broke me.

All my life is here now, in the whispers of this garden.

In the morning, the birds speak of the last doll

Every little girl remembers.

Such a shame we do not know it is the last doll,

Or we might have demanded grander, greater.

We don’t know we each are growing up to be

The last doll.

Tefila II

May 26, 2020 § Leave a comment

The love

Is such a great thing

That when you are not looking

It disembodies you

Removes your immune system

Removes your self-protective casing.

In the morning you wake with a sense of unease.

In the night you wait for sleep with dread.

You have been here once before, five years ago.

You haven’t lived since.

This is the crossroads; live, die, or disappear.

The consciousness of your own existance rests too heavily on young shoulders.

Ask for help.

After All

May 24, 2020 § Leave a comment

There is only love,

And living quietly with the consequences of impulsive decisions.

The love is resting now. It is exhausted, embattled, but not broken.

It waits hopefully for the morning.

A new day, a new month, Sivan.

Sivan surely is the month of a great love, the greatest-

In these days we must be at peace with ourselves.

We must look pain in the eye and say

‘I accept you Torah, because I am the survivor of generations.’

And the generations do not sit heavy on our shoulders.

In Sivan, they retreat silently,

They form a circle around us

And we are filled with light in dark times.

Grief

May 23, 2020 § Leave a comment

How hard it is to trap free people

To love them

To coexist with them as if they are

Your very own skin.

How hard it is to love you

As though you were the beat of my own heart

Tumbling in a maze of shadows, fears, loss.

How hard it is to lose the free person

Whom you love violently,

So freely, in a sense.

If you love, let it go

May 20, 2020 § Leave a comment

I saw love disfigure me

And in a quiet second free

My past, my present, the parts I

Had long cleansed from my memory.

For love is but a great return

To painful knowledge, clarity-

And those who cannot gain entry

To love, remain unburdened, free.

Sharav

May 17, 2020 § Leave a comment

Summer hits you-

A fresh idea

Carried out in wet paint.

Not a leaf stirs.

The greenery is alive with the voices of ants

Plotting their travel.

All the world is

Adventure.

As Dust Settles

May 15, 2020 § Leave a comment

I wonder

Had I gone back to the start

Back to the birth of my first words

Back to the first poem-

An ultrasound.

Had I not stamped out the fire,

Where would I be now?

Where would my heart, my weary heart be?

My duty is to myself, and yet,

I wanted to wrap myself up in you.

All dreams fade, painfully,

Eventually.

Muezzin

May 14, 2020 § Leave a comment

Surrounded by the ghosts of Jerusalem-

Are our enemies within the gates?

They surely are.

They pray for blood, they celebrate the arrival of the morning.

A boy without brothers is buried within us as day breaks.

Our son.

There can never be peace, I tell myself.

I hesitate.

The pain must be put aside, and we must go on, until another generation can untangle the knots in the wild, untamed curls of the promised land.

Piano

May 12, 2020 § Leave a comment

Your piano is never played.

It guards the door like a black cat

Awaiting its prey.

Your grandmother sits silently in Paris

Thinking of her black cat;

The loneliest soldier in Jerusalem.

Where Am I?

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