Shemini

And from the fire

Savta Sara’s matzo men

with raisin eyes, and unraised hands

.

and I won’t forget the hum of the road inside the glass;

seven windows at the front of the house

and four children’s shuttered lives

.

not enough for me to pass over

through, or under.

portion for foxes.

each night the red fox comes

and turns, and looks at me

and I do not follow him into the bedroom

I run to Abba, and drink my milk.

each night the red fox comes;

when I wake I am sweating and trembling and lie

room lit for thirty seconds

when I drift back I cannot avoid his eyes, for they are my own

full of all the wrong things I’ve done-

both leaving and returning to me

night after night, as though I am trying to purge myself

of myself.

each night the red fox comes

and burns me up;

I close the door on the me that made love without love

I shut down the dream as though it were not my soul ending.

Shabbat shalom